新托福综合写作:两大结构安排模式分析比较

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新托福综合写作:两大结构安排模式分析比较 新托福考试写作部分的第一个任务是“Integrated Task”即综合写作,它是一种全新的题型,大部分学生对于如何应对综合写作缺乏相关的知识和经验,很大程度依赖于教师的指导,其中一个重要的方面就是如何安排文章的结构。对此,ETS并没有给出详细的官方建议,只是在ETS公开的综合写作评分标准中,给出了5分(即满分)作文的定义

  A response at this level successfully selects the important information from the lecture and coherently and accurately presents this information in relation to the relevant information presented in the reading. The response is well organized, and occasional language errors that are present do not result in inaccurate or imprecise presentation of content or connections.

  可以看出,ETS并没有规定一篇综合写作应该使用某种固定的结构模式,而只是从信息点的准确提炼,信息组织的条理性和语言的准确性这几个角度定义了一篇满分作文。然而实践中,这样的指导性建议太为笼统。学生还是期望教师能够给出一种易于理解的,安全有效的且操作性强的结构,在考试时依照这个结构构建文章的主体,并以此为基础填充细节,从而快速高效地完成作文。

  朗阁海外考试研究中心的老师经过一段时间的教学,总结出两种适合新托福综合写作的结构安排,为了形象理解,称为“点对点”型和“面对面”型的结构,就将对这两种结构进行分析和比较。

Introduction-

Relationship between reading and lecture

The lecturer talks about research conducted by a firm that used the group to handle their work. He says that the theory stated in the passage was very different and somewhat inaccurate when compared to what happened in reality.

First Point of Contrast

First, some members got free rides. That is, some didn’t work hard but got recognition for the success nonetheless. This also indicates that people who hard were not given recognition they should have gotten. In other words, weren’t given the opportunity to “shine”. This directly contradicts what the passage indicates.

Second Point of Contrast

Second, groups were slow in progress. The passage says that groups are more responsive than individuals because of the number of people involved and aggregated resources. However, the speaker talks about how the firm found that groups were slower than individuals in decision making. Groups needed time for meetings, which are necessary procedures in decision making. This is another place where experience contradicted theory.

Third Point of Contrast

Third, influential people might emerge and lead the group towards glory If the influent people are going in the right direction there would be no problem. But in cases where they go in the wrong direction, there is nobody that has influence to counter the decision made. In other words, the group might turn dictatorship, with the influential party as the leader, and might become less in its thinking. They might become one-sided, and thus fail to succeed.

  一、“点对点”的结构

  “点对点”的结构指的是把综合写作中的阅读材料和听力材料的每一个对应点都单独提炼出来用一个段落加以阐述。这种结构的优点是可以把阅读文章和听力材料的对应关系更细致地进行说明,使文章层次感强,同时反映出考生提炼信息和对比信息的能力更高。比如下面的一篇范文就是ETS给出的满分作文,是一篇典型的“点对点”型的结构安排方式。

  可以看出,“点对点”和“面对面”的结构有各自的特点,但总得来说“点对点”的结构在“对比型”的新托福综合写作中要更适用一些,因为它能把矛盾点逐一呈现,更细致地体现了听力和阅读材料之间的关系。但掌握“面对面”的结构也很有必要,因为它可以适用一些听力和阅读材料之间的关系是一致、延伸或解释型的考题。此外,在考生无法寻找到所有的对应点时,用“面对面”的结构也算是一种补救措施。

  新托福综合写作sample answer 两篇,针对的是同一个考题,第一篇用的是“点对点”结构,第二篇用的是“面对面”的结构。

Introduction-

Relationship between reading and lecture

The lecturer talks about the natural process of crystallization and how the speed of cooling can influence such process, which is proved by Bowen’s crystallization experiment explained in the reading passage.

Points in the lecture

Natural crystallization happens when magma, which is extremely hot in its molten form deep in the earth, gradually cools off when it moves towards the surface of the earth. During the cooling process, the energy from heat is lost, and the atoms which compose the magma begin to move more slowly, forming into an orderly pattern, which turns the magma into a solid crystal structure. However, if the cooling process takes place too rapidly, then there is not enough time for the atoms to be arranged into such an orderly pattern. Therefore, crystallization can’t take place. Instead, a brittle, glass-like material will form.

Points in the Reading

Norman Bowen’s experiment in the 1920s proved this theory. By collecting and melting elements in rocks, Norman created artificial magma in his laboratory. He first cooled the magma slowly, as in the natural crystallization process, and got mineral crystals. But then he suddenly replaced this normal cooling with rapid freezing, and found frozen glass materials surrounding the solid crystal structure.

  Sample answer 1

  Urban sprawl is defined as the growth of cities in an unplanned manner, spreading outward rather than upward. Although urban sprawl brings some positive influence to our lives such as new homes and businesses, better schools, less noise and crime, etc., many people, especially environmental campaigners, see it as harmful to human life and the nature, as it robs people of nature, wiping out parks and farmland, and also brings traffic congestion to roads linking cities and suburbs.

  The New Urbanism movement is designed to address urban sprawl, and communities such as Celebration in Florida, which is constructed applying New Urbanism principals, have proved very effective in solving this problem. The first principle of New Urbanism is to provide effective transportation system and environmental protection. To achieve this, the town of Celebration has a large area of greenbelt dedicated to wildlife preservation. It also has buildings that are environmentally friendly and energy-efficient. New Urbanism’s second principle is to provide housing and jobs that are close together. This is reflected in Celebration’s office and apartment buildings which are all densely constructed in a small area to avoid sprawling. Finally, New Urbanism requires neighborhoods to have both single and multi-family residences, and this is exactly what can be seen in the town of Celebration, where residents live close together and find it easy to socialize.

  Urban sprawl is low-density, outward growth and mostly single-family residences. Its negative effects are robbing us of our nature and having us meeting traffic jams between cities and suburbs, while its positive effects are providing home construction, new business and better schools, making less noise and causing less crime.

  Sample Answer 2

  New urbanism has emerged to solve the problem of urban sprawl. Regions have to create transportation systems and environmental protection; Cities need to offer housing and jobs that are close together; Neighborhoods should have single- and multi-family housing where residence can walk to stores, public transportation and parks.

  Take the community of Celebration for example. It meets the goal of social and civic interaction by setting up a central market street district and housing including single- and multi-family residences. It also meets the goal of environment preservation with its good environmentally-friendly town design, and with high-rise offices and apartment buildings which help reduce the population density.

  New urbanism like celebration will bring new changes to urban sprawl.

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